I used to think that dating was for ME. It was all wrapped around selfishness. It’s an opportunity for me to feel warm and fuzzy. To cuddle, to have someone to depend on (subconsciously, you know you would never really admit that), to have someone to go to the movies with, spend time with, to push the boundaries of sex but not go all the way (or to go all the way), and to feel secure in the fact that I got me a MAN! To confess Jesus, go to church, pray & to stay the night with my little boo every now and then. I mean, we weren’t’ going all the way, all the time, right? Plus, if we did, we could always repent, take communion and plead the blood. But what happens is, you stay in that same sorry state for the rest of your life, hoping and praying that it works. Then God’s grace gives you mini victories here & there but it doesn’t even TOUCH or come close to the fullness that God wants to give you. Because you won’t stop doing what you “feel” like doing you don’t even see the DOORS that are being shut in your face. When you SIN you separate yourself from God (Isaiah 59:2). If there’s a separation, God cannot get involved in your LIFE. This is a SPIRTUAL battle, not some flesh battle you can see with your eyes (Ephesians 6:12). When you have sex with someone who is not your husband, are entering the spiritual realm illegally. Remember that you are a spirit, you live in a body and you posses a soul (mind, will and emotions) You are subject to Satan and ALL of his spirits when you OBEY him.
What IS the purpose of dating?! This is an opportunity for you to check out that’s person’s get down! How do they deal with conflict? Do they really do what the bible says to do? What are their issues? Do they compromise? How do they treat me when they are angry? What are their vision & standards? Ok, in seeing all of that–can I LIVE with this person for the rest of my life?
Do you REALLY think that you can figure all of that out if you are in a emotionally based relationship built on the foundation of SEX? NO! Do you see how deceptive sex can be before marriage?! Yeah, it may feel good but in all honesty, it’s got you ALL messed up. The only way I was able to see the above is because Cornelius and I didn’t kiss. I saw him for WHO he really was! KISSING is foreplay. What is foreplay? Foreplay prepares you for SEX. So why even kiss someone unless you plan on preparing to have sex with them? You are just going to want more..and more..and more, then oops. Then, sex becomes your foundation for your relationship. Sex is GREAT in marriage—but it’s NOT the most important thing. You may have sex for 1 hour out of the day—and you still got 23 hours to communicate and deal with this person who is all up in your space.
So, the dating process with Cornelius for me was ROUGH. Why? IT’s because I had to get rid of that old sorry way of thinking. I had to learn to develop emotionally with Cornelius without relying on my emotions & being physical to sustain the relationship. It was built on the word of God. So yes, living this way is going to COST you something. It didn’t FEEL good. There was a lot of RESIDUE and mess in me from the past that I had to yank up.
So, we finally kissed. What was it like?! I’ve been asked this question many times! It was surreal. It was so cool to be able to kiss him after studying and developing with him for almost two years. It was soooooooo worth the WAIT!! And people say, what if you don’t have chemistry? Chemistry is a INWARD thang before it happens on the outside. A person can be FINE as can be on the outside, but if you have no “chemistry” with them in talking, it’s a no go. And we had “Chemistry” from day one, so it legally exploded on our wedding night. Yes.
Romans 12:1- Present your bodies unto God has a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable. So, if I am presenting this NOTE to you, I aint the note—I’m the presenter. So if you are presenting your BODY to God, it aint yours! You are supposed to do what He told you to do with it. I challenge you today to REFOCUS & figure it out. God has something better for your relationships. Stop settling & expecting better results. Let’s go higher.
This is NOT to beat you down if you kissed/had sex. It’s to challenge you to stop & go higher.