I think it’s important to address this area because unequally yoked relationships are hindering our walk with God in regards to our friendships, courting, and especially in your dating relationships. Then, you look up and you’re married to this person that you’re completely unyoked with but because you were so focused on leaving the title of being “single” behind—you ignored ALL of the warning signs and married this fool who “said” he was a Christian.
Let’s clear up a few things:
1. Yes, you can be unequally yoked with someone at your church or another Christian. Just because they are sitting under the same word as you– doesn’t mean that they are taking it and applying it to their life. Maturity comes when we start living this walk and passing these tests.
2. Yes, you can be unequally yoked with your friend. At times, there’s a fork in the road of your relationships where maybe your friend stops pursing God as you continue to pursue Him. You may find that surrounding yourself with that friend is pushing you further and further away from God. You find yourself compromising and heading the wrong way.. but you just don’t know why.
3. Yes, you and your boyfriend could be totally unyoked. Maybe you’re trying to make it work because you don’t want to be single. Maybe you’re rationalizing because .. you’re tired of being lonely. Maybe you both are working on your relationship “together” as you sleep “together?”
4. NO, you don’t throw away every person you think you’re “unequally yoked” with– some relationships (mostly FEMALE friendships develop & grow into great relationships as no relationship is perfect), but YOU have to control the environment (ie. invite her to church or to a positive event.) And knowing God– He refuses to share His glory with your little sorta-saved boyfriend so–most likely, He already told you to break that off.
5. YES, you can be free from soul ties by confessing your SIN to God and HE will cleanse it. (1 John)– Sometimes, we think we need this whole emotional production at church to be free from a soul tie. WALK in the cleansing POWER of CHRIST & turn away from that sin. Now, by faith– continue to choose Christ and the light. Then, GUARD your heart. Block him from social media, change your number– do what you have to do.
6. YES, there’s times you will have to pull back from your family and not surround yourself with them 24-7 as Christ builds your faith. They may not accept or understand your walk with God and criticize you for it. Stand firm in love.
Even demons can “say” they are a Christian. What would you say if satan came up to you and said.. “I’m a Christian, I’ll go to church with you on Sunday.” He goes to church with you—lifts his hands during praise and worship and shouts like he was delivered from something. Would you believe him? Well, you’ve just met most people that are in church today. We sit in church on Sunday for one hour a week and we live the rest of the 167 hours a week like no God exists on this earth. Although they may not be satan—they live their life like they belong to Him.
1 John 2:4- “If someone claims “I know God, “ but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth. But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love Him. That is how we know we are living in Him. Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.”
So, I’m saying that you cannot just SAY that you’re a Christian and expect to get into heaven. If you belong to God—you will live in the light and stay in the light and make decision that line up with His word. Yeah, you’re not perfect but if you DO sin, He’s faithful and just to forgive you and cleanse you. (1 John 1:9) However, a real Christian isn’t practicing SIN. They practice holiness. They guard their heart. They’re intentional about living for God. So I challenge you. Do a lifecheck. Is there some fruit growing on your tree that PROVES that you live for Jesus? Stop telling me that you belong to Jesus if you hate someone that hurt you. (1 John 2:10). When you take each day—day by day—you’re living for Christ. When you GIVE Him your hate, frustration, issues and problems– and ask Him to help you and you really mean it– you’re living for HIM.
So now that we have the basics down about what a real Christian is—let’s take a look at how to identify an unequally yoked relationship. You know deep down in your heart if you aren’t equally yoked with someone. You just know. Especially if you spend time with them and see how they respond to life’s issues. You may ignore those areas because you “love” him and he’s “on his way to being saved” or you’re trying to “get him saved.” The only thing you can change on a boy is his diaper. A man has to want God for himself. You may have been with that person for a really long time and you don’t want to start over with anybody else but you know good and well that person, (insert name) is not God’s best for your life.
2 Corinthians 5:14-16- “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.”
Remember that just because someone says they’re saved, they can still be an “unbeliever.” An unbeliever is someone who refuses to believe God’s word and live according to His ways. I’m so tired of Christians running around and saying they got saved at 4 years old and since then– they’ve been living like hell on earth. YOU are LIVING for your master. Is your master GOD or satan? Your lifestyle best identifies with who your father is.
Let’s look at a couple of scenarios.
1. An unequally yoked boyfriend or girlfriend can pull you so far away from Christ. They will poison you with their “ideas” and “philosophies” about God while planting seeds in your heart.
They may say, we are planning on getting married—”it’s ok for us to have sex. Nobody is going to know—I just want to be one with you. I’m committed to you and you’re committed to me—we have each other.” Sounds like something out of a movie right? You feeling’ all warm and fuzzy inside but STOP. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” YOU cannot trust that man with your own purity and you’re about to trust him to lead your life in a one-day marriage?
Your little boyfriend has made his flesh his “god” and is about to rob you of your purity and relationship with God by taking what doesn’t belong to him. Don’t be that girl that goes along with him. Your relationship will only get worse as you push God to the outside of it. Remember those that choose Christ are abiding in the light. They are choosing God when it’s hard. Remember that our relationships are supposed to push us closer to God—not away from Him.
2. They can weaken your faith. It’s that person that constantly doubts everything about God based on some weird “logic” that they came up with. So if you’re hanging around a ton of “friends” that are of different religions, you’re setting yourself up if you aren’t strong enough. Meaning, most likely, you will end up doing what they’re doing versus your Christian values influencing them. You cannot tip-toe around this area.
1 Corinthians 5:9 says “Do not associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulged in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to believe yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, worships idols, abusive, is a drunkard or cheats people.”
You may be thinking that this is a bit extreme. God knows that you’re not going to walk around sinless and neither will those around you but this text is referring to those people that deliberately sin, feel no guilt, shame or remorse and then come up with excuses in their head to why they think it’s ok. If you continue to read that same scripture—it says to JUDGE the person inside the church who claims to be a Christian yet indulges in sexual sin. This isn’t a chance for you to yell at everyone and call the out unless you’re ready to call yourself out. You go to your sister in Christ and confront and discipline that person from a caring place of LOVE.
If you have a friend who you are watching go downhill in a certain area—talk to them in a loving way about this. But check and pull your emotions together before you speak to them. It’s vital for your walk as a Christian to make sure that you’re surrounding yourself with believers and Christians that live for Christ. More than anything- be GOD led.
Don’t you REALIZE that there’s a reason that God doesn’t want you to associate with people that aren’t going in the direction that you’re going in? God told Abraham in Genesis to LEAVE his family and go to a place where God would show him. God didn’t even give specific instructions. He just said GO. So, when God tells you to “go”—what excuse do you give? You don’t want to leave your boyfriend that keeps sleeping with you? You have chicks around you that are dropping seeds of doubt in your head? Are your “unequally yoked” friendships pushing you away from God? Of course they are. The proof is in the pudding. You get around that girl—and you find that you complain, gossip and feel heavy after leaving her presence. Back to the story—God told Abraham to get away from His family because his family worshiped idols. They didn’t belong to God. God needed Abraham to GET away from those people that were framing his thinking. They had influence on him. So.. who is influencing you?
Your life is much greater than having a billion friends and a ring on your left ring hand finger. At some point, we have to learn to trust God concerning these temporary things. Eternity is knocking at your door and you don’t want to stand before God and say “I didn’t obey you because I was too busy & distracted trying to keep a man that you never told me to keep.”
I know I will get this question—“What if you’re married?” Well, if you’re married—this isn’t a reason to run and get a divorce. You win your husband over to Christ by your quiet & gentle spirit (1 Peter 3:4). Trust me.. I’ve won my husband over in certain areas concerning areas in our marriage. I’ve watched God change my husbands heart because I learned to accept him— ISSUES and all. I knew that I couldn’t change his issues but CHRIST could if I moved out of the way and LET Him. YES 1 Corinthians 7:14- “For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.” HOWEVER, your goal should not be to marry somebody who is NOT equally yoked with you. Paul is referring to a person’s “current” state– not somebody who is pre-planning to marry a random. His instructions for that was “DO NOT DO IT.” Don’t marry an expectation that a person will all the sudden change once you get married. You WILL deal with so many other issues that come with marriage if your husband isn’t saved. So don’t even gamble with it. PLUS, how can YOU trust the leadership of your one-day spouse if his father is the enemy? So if you are married– continue to pray and ask God for grace. But if you’re not– don’t use this as an excuse to run and marry somebody. You will remember my words if you do.
At the end of the day, this Christian walk is going to cost you something. You are required to DIE. Die DAILY. Die to your old way of thinking & being and taking on the image of Christ. So, you may think.. “my situation is different, we’ve been together for years and years and he says he’s saved but—I don’t see any fruit but he’s working on it.” Well, sista- you need to let him work on it, over there. Don’t be a distraction to his walk and most likely, while he’s working on it—he’s still dealing with his carnal nature concerning his flesh and your body. Don’t allow yourself to become an idol for a new Christian. They’re searching for somebody to depend on – make sure that space is empty for Christ. And make sure that yours is empty as well so it can be filled by CHRIST. You don’t really need that man to be satisfied, you need CHRIST.
SO sorry I haven’t been blogging! Hubby and I have been traveling NON-STOP & preaching everywhere! It’s currently 10:51pm and we just landed in the Bahamas today as I preach on Friday! Whew! It’s pretty awesome and I’m thankful—I’ve just been busy and this growing belly is a reminder that I need to slow down. Also, baby Lindsey is a BOY! ☺ I cannot wait for March 2013! I will be blogging more moving forward! ☺
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