I recall taking an internship my junior year in college (2003) and I had just finished cooking for Jesus & having a “date night. with Him” I was single, focused & very intentional about spending time with God daily. So, as we watched a movie, He told me to turn to TV off. I grabbed a journal and the Lord began to download into my heart. He said,
“Heather, I have called you to preach my gospel. The Gospel of Jesus Christ. You and your one day husband will have a worldwide ministry and millions of people will come into the knowledge of who I am through your ministry. You will travel all over the world and don’t be afraid because I will be with you.”
I WAS SO EXCITED! The LORD FINALLY TOLD ME MY PURPOSE!! I had been asking Him EVERYDAY for like 6 months so I was thrilled when He made things to plain to me. I recall jumping up & telling my roommate who wasn’t a believer! She didn’t seem so thrilled & then the Lord told me that everybody isn’t going to share in my joy & excitement but it doesn’t change what He has called me to do. He also shared that He never told me to tell her. Lesson learned. 🙂 Nonetheless, I felt like I had some type of direction for the first time in my life.
Then I sat there on my bed and thought, wait Lord. I have no ministry experience. I just got saved like 8-9 months ago. I have no parents or even family members in ministry. Wait, you sure that you called ME Lord? I mean, I’m a train wreck. I honestly felt so insufficient. I thought about my past where I chased down bad relationships. I thought about the boyfriend I barely broke up with 3 months ago. I thought about just not feeling enough.
Then, the Lord took me to:
|My graduation party from MSU! Left for NYC right after this photo!|
|In my NYC Apartment in 2004|
God told me to be there. Talk about a season of STRETCHING! I just KNEW that the second I left college, God was going to lay out this perfect, orchestrated plan for my life where I had somewhere to live comfortably, a great paying job, wonderful friends and that perfect preaching husband.
Now, this isn’t a pretty process. It’s actually pretty ugly. God literally prunes you from the wrong mindsets, attitudes, relationships and crazy ways of thinking, This pruning doesn’t FEEL good. This pruning includes YOU being honest with what God called you to do. Yes, you went to school and took out a bunch of loans to become an engineer because so & so was an engineer in your family. But you know for a fact that God has called you somewhere else. Listen, MONEY will never truly make you happy. It will become your SLAVE as you go into work and HATE your job. Then, you take your frustrations out on everybody else because you’re in a job & doing something that you HATE in which.. GOD never told you to do.
I wanted to host TV. I pursued it. I actually got on a pretty big network. But it was MY idea. My plans. My thoughts. My vision. I thought I needed to “create” a platform for Jesus but I realized that God Himself can create the platform & then put me ON it.
I don’t have to go & try to do something & then tag God’s name to it. After I stopped trying to tag God’s name on everything, I actually let God take me through a process. A process of working at jobs that I wasn’t crazy about but I KNEW God told me to go there to develop in love, patience, character and integrity. Will I bend the rules and take the company car service home when I technically can.. but I shouldn’t? Will I use all the ink to print my bible studies and hide it from my boss? Will I jump into gossip and join my co-workers when they cut up?
You won’t “all the sudden” ARRIVE at your purpose. It actually takes you being intentional in waking up every morning and living for Jesus. Saying yes to Him and no to your flesh. You can’t live any o’le kinda way and expect for the Lord to trust you with your calling! It takes great discipline! I’m not saying that you have to “earn” God because you cannot do that but what I am saying is that He has to be leading you. So, check your heart. Check out your life. Who is making the decisions in your life? Do you even talk to Him? Do you hear His voice? I did a blog on “How to Hear God’s voice” and I encourage you to read it if you’re struggling there!
Although I was working on Wall Street for a season in my life, I knew that God called called me to something great. I would talk to Him everyday and He would remind me that He has not forgotten about me and that He loves me. If I didn’t talk to Him for long periods of time, I would start to feel purposeless. I realized that I needed constantly communication and fellowship
|Met my now hubby while serving in those 5 ministries!|
with the Holy Spirit to hold on to what God told me. And, while I was doing that I served in ministry. I served in over 5 ministries for about 6-7 years faithfully as a leader. I didn’t quit when it got hard. I dealt with mean personalities. I dealt with christians talking behind my back. I went through this pruning process and everything I learned along the journey was NECESSARY for what I’m doing today. I am THANKFUL for the process, the hard times, the journey, the eating eggs every night for dinner because I couldn’t afford anything else, the working for free, the volunteering, the whatever else because I was doing it as onto the Lord and NOT man.
Remember that it is GOD alone that placed PURPOSE in you and you will never be satisfied with what you’re doing unless you are doing what HE has called YOU to do! For me, I loved helping women, reminding them of their worth, value and pointing them to the cross. It burned my heart to see women settle with the wrong men & to pursue anything outside of Jesus. I wanted to see them flourish in their relationship with God! I wanted to teach them to cook, dress cute & curl their hair so they would feel beautiful on the inside & the out. I didn’t want to see them jealous or envious of one another! I wanted to see a generation of women rise up & actually support and push each other closer to Jesus! God used that to start Pinky Promise! What is He telling you to do? It may not happen right away, but it will! Has God called you to bake? Bake for your local church, for free! Has God called you to make modest clothes? Go find some budget fabric and make it work! Has God called you to be a Doctor? Study & show yourself approved and trust Him to use you to be a light!
So, hang in there. Whether you graduated or not, whether you’ve been searching for a job or looking for a career, slow down and let the Holy Spirit lead you. I saw bits & pieces of God using me over a 9 year time period before I stepped into ministry full time. You have a season and a time under the sun. Be faithful to God RIGHT where you are & let Him lead your path.
I love you all so much!
God loves you like crazy,