Have you ever cried out to the Lord and said, “Holy Spirit, — USE ME! Send me to NATIONS, LORD! I desire for you to use every part of me for your glory!”
I have definitely been there. I remember crying out to the Lord one day with all of my heart, GOD! With tears in my eyes, I begged him, LORD, SEND ME TO NATIONS! I want NATIONS to know your NAME! I want PEOPLE to come into the saving knowledge of WHO YOU ARE!!!! Oh Lord, send ME so that nations may come into the knowledge of who you are. Lord, SEND labourers into the field, for the harvest is great!” As I cried out to him, I was sitting under the powerful presence of the Lord. I was literally soaking in His presence. I was laid out on my face. Completely surrendered in that moment. Worship music was playing gently in the background. My prayer room was barely lit and there was nothing like the peace that came from the Holy Spirit in that moment.
I came up from my prayer time feeling so refreshed. So encouraged. So excited about those nations knowing Jesus. That’s all that mattered.
Then, a few days later, I came across a woman that I knew had been talking badly about me. She didn’t know that I knew, but I knew. I forgave her (so I thought in my heart) and it was one of those things where I didn’t really know her, but I wasn’t crazy about her. (based on the fact that I knew she was being messy lol) She can stay right over there with her gossiping self and I will pray for her. (as I rationalized and thought in my mind) Those thoughts only dropped into my mind when I saw her here & there. I personally didn’t even know her name. Nonetheless, as I came across her that day, I silently rolled my eyes in my HEART. Not on my face, but in my heart as she introduced herself to me. I wouldn’t publically roll my eyes, because you know, that’s not the right “Christian thing to do.”
As SOON as I started to speak to her, these two scriptures appeared in my mind:
Romans 12:9 – Don’t pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.
Jeremiah 17:10 – The Lord searches the heart and He examines secret motives.
Then, I heard the Holy Spirit say: “Heather, you are praying for nations and I am sending you to the nation of the United States. This woman is a part of that nation. Be faithful in all things.“
Immediately, I was convicted.
I wasn’t in that barely lit room, basking in the presence of the Lord on my face. I didn’t hear Bethel in the background playing music. I was in a very public place. No bells. No whistles. And, it sure wasn’t convenient to love the girl that I know bashed me.
Did I really think that I could choose what nations that I want to tell about Jesus?? In knowing that this fight is SPIRITUAL and not physical, I shouldn’t have even been mad at HER but the spirit that was operating in her. We need to get mad at the devil, not humans. He is the one behind all of this hate!
You see, it’s HERE where your FAITH is being tested. It’s THERE on your job, at the gym, in the car, or in the classroom where you’re being TESTED! It is THERE where the things that you’ve cried out to God at church, at the altar, in your prayer room or wherever else get the OPPORTUNITY to develop.
What are we waiting for in becoming more like Jesus?? Are we waiting for a stage or a big ministry to tell us that we matter or that we are worth something? No! REAL, true ministry is happening when NOBODY else is looking! Real, true ministry is happening PRIVATELY. When nobody else is watching you to tell you how great you are. It’s in the booth, in the back in the corner where you are CRYING out – YES to God when you can sneak and do something that you have no business doing! It’s SECRETLY saying YES to Jesus when you want to roll your eyes, ignore someone, hurt someone who has hurt you or just quit all together.
And, the more you say Yes to Jesus and you pass those tests, the more we become like Him. I don’t know about you but I want to be His hands and feet. I want to know Him like never before. I want my entire life to be surrendered to Him and not for show but for real. I want to sense His heart beating next to mine. I want to love like He loves. I want the Holy Spirit to absolutely possess my very SPIRIT and to lead me to Jesus daily.
This means what?
That I may get tested a lot. There’s alot in us that doesn’t look like Him and these tests burn the bad stuff out.
1 Peter 1:7
So that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
Being tested isn’t a bad thing. It shows you your heart. For me, it showed me that I wanted nations to be saved but I couldn’t’ even love my own sister in my own community right next to me. Those nations that need to be saved come with a full set of issues. Of hurts. Of pains. Of “special personalities” and what I call “Jesus’ special people.” lol 🙂
Know that when you desire to be used by the Lord, it won’t always be easy, convenient or even seem significant. But, IT matters. If we’ve done it to the “least” of them, we’ve done it to Jesus (Matthew 25:40)
So, when we pray, Lord, SEND ME! Use Me! Let’s really mean it and do whatever He is telling us to do. And, before He tells you to start this huge ministry or go do missions, He is telling us to be faithful right now, in our community and exactly where we are. Let’s be faithful in ALL things.