He’s JUST Not That Into You

Sometimes it’s more NATURAL for woman to express themselves and what they want in a person. Which makes “He who finds a wife, finds a good things & obtains favor from God”–even more challenging for my ladies who want to make sure that the brotha’ knows that she likes Him. Ladies, you are SO precious and SO beautiful to God. You don’t have to compete for a man, throw yourself at him or lower your standards for him to be with you. When you do that, it’s based in the fear that you don’t think that God can fulfill your desires. And most likely, He won’t. HOW can He fill your relationship slot when it’s filled by a random? YOUR heart is FILLED up by the random you selected and all of the baggage from your past relationships!! God wants you so free & so whole so you can finally learn Him and experience His love. He is so jealous for all of the things you place before Him and He wants your HEART.  And throughout this time you’re saying, GOD I want to hear from you–what is my purpose?!  Before He tells you your “grand” purpose–He’s telling you to cut off some distractions or anyone who is keeping you from Him. He’ll give you step one.. then step two. Obey Him RIGHT now. Pick up your phone, cut it off–change your number. Do what you have to do. No excuses.

It reminds me of Song of Solomon 8:4 “Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right.” Solomon was THE wisest person that walked this earth (after Jesus of course). STOP trying to awaken love through your emotions until the time is right. There’s amazing seasons for your life and God seriously has your back. Start small & just trust Him.

1. You’re constantly reaching out to him.
A person makes TIME for what is important to them, they just do. If you guys are just “friends”–(and don’t get me started on the friend thing–because I really don’t think males & females can be “friends” for real but that’s another blog). Even if so–a friendship is a two-way street. Stop tracking him down.

2. You’re trying to get his attention
When you know you’ll see him–are you dressing up? Putting extra care into your makeup and hair? There’s nothing wrong with that. But make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons and that’s for you. When I was single, I liked to look good for me. I liked to keep myself together, eat healthy, work out, get my hair done (or do my hair myself), do my makeup and find clothes that worked for me. I did this because I wanted to represent CHRIST. Yeah that’s not the most important thing as God is looking at our HEART. I made sure I spent time with God daily and then I stepped out into the “world”–the world is looking at your PHYSICAL. So maybe someone would come up to me and tell me they liked my hair color and it ended up turning into me inviting them to church & sharing Christ–and eventually salvation. We gotta catch people before we clean them. Let’s refuse to be sloppy. If you constantly dress up to look good for someone who couldn’t care less.. you set yourself up for continual disappointment. Especially when he turns up with a new girlfriend that next week.

3. You guys broke up…but you’re still hoping & wishing
Girl, let it go. Whoever is supposed to be in your life will never leave it. And if that guy is supposed to be there–he’ll do what it takes to be with you. It’s not rocket science. It’s not “timing” or the other lies he tells you. It just IS what it IS. He’s not into you, but it’s GOOD. You sure don’t want to marry someone who doesn’t know your value.

4. He’s married..but you think you still have a chance because he loves you..
Seriously? He married who he wants to be with. You’ll reap what you sow–so I wouldnt’ mess with anybody else’s marriage. Cut him off quickly. You’ll always be second (…or third..or forth) to his wife. And more than anything, you’ve made him your idol by that point. Harsh word, right? He’ll fill up your thoughts as you hope, wish and fantasize about the day you guys will be together as he promises you everything. That is a formula for heartache. LET IT GO.

5. We’re dating.. BUT
So you’re dating. He constantly RIPS you down, tells you that you aren’t good enough and is trying to change everything about you. He tells you that you’re too skinny, too fat, not smart enough.. or WAIT- you should be a doctor or maybe go to law school? Your passion isn’t good enough for him because he needs to be with a “certain” type of woman. You work SUPER hard to make him happy and NOTHING is good enough. Babygirl, nothing will ever be good enough for this type of man. Let him go QUICKLY. Staying with him will only make you feel insecure, inadequate and build up more walls.

Now if you’re married and the above is happening–work it out & just believe God. (that’s another blog too)

God loves you all soooooo so much. He wants the BEST for you. So stop settling and make some changes.

God loves you like crazy,

Heather