Soo, you finally met your “Adam”– your boo! And you looooove him so much! So much.. sometimes, you want to EXPRESS it physically by kissing, rubbing, cuddling.. or maybe even sex. YOU want to feel close to him …BUT deep down, YOU want your relationship to glorify God. YOU don’t want your relationships to mirror your past relationships but you can’t quite figure out how to “court” or date .. God’s way. You KEEP taking your past ways of thinking from the world.. into your courting relationship and you find yourself having to choose between GOD and your man, often. So you both have sex, repent and give that area to God.. OVER & OVER again. You’re TIRED. You WANT to live for GOD for real but you aren’t convinced that you should break up with your boo. YOU want to make things work but you just cannot figure out how to turn off that switch. You could be engaged and SO close to the wedding day– HOW do you abstain?!?
Well, this post may be for you if any of the above applied to you. And trust me sisters, I have BEEN there & DONE all that. I dated as a Christian but was STILL all up in the world & I courted God’s way– where my husband and I didn’t kiss until our wedding day. We courted for 1 year and 8 months and kissed for the first time on 8/14/2010. I blogged about it here. SO, let’s first quickly break down the difference between courting & dating.
- Takes the position that the two people have no physical contact at all (no touching, no hand-holding, no kissing) until marriage.
- Many in a courtship relationship will not spend any time together unless family members, preferably parents, are present at all times.
- Courting couples state up front that their intentions are to see if the other person is a suitable potential marriage partner.
- Courtship allows for the two people to truly get to know each other in a more platonic setting without the pressures of physical intimacy or emotions clouding their view.
- Spends a ton of time alone which presents a ton of temptations
- Family isn’t as involved
- Foreplay, not going all the way, going all the way, “test driving each other”
- No clear purpose– just a lot of conditional dating & confusion on “where is this relationship going??!)
- Plays house. Calls each other wifey & hubby & does husband & wife like things but has no commitment
- There’s still a option to date others, ya’ll aren’t totally sold & still “trying each other out”
And for those of you who are smiling as you read this & thinking.. “we haven’t had sex.. we have messed around but haven’t gone the whole way”– well, babygirl, I’m talking to YOU as well. Do you think that God doesn’t look at ya’ll playing around with the SAME destest?! It’s a MINDSET. .. “BE HOLY as HE is HOLY”- 1 Peter 1:16
And if you don’t believe me that it’s wrong to have sex outside of marriage, it’s clear here: “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body,
but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:18
6. Spend time with God. THIS will be included in EVERY blog that I do. THIS will never change. When you stay connected with God.. you won’t WANT to sin. YOU will WANT to please GOD. YOU WANT what you put IN front of your face. I blogged about the Journal Challenge. Get on board. Like now.
If you wonder why jealousy, envy, and being controlling is involved in a relationship, it’s evident of WHO you let into your relationship. When you have sex outside of marriage it introduces feelings & unhealthy emotions. WHY even open yourself UP to statan? YOU belong to whoever you obey. Sounds kinda harsh right? … Well, I didn’t say it– Titus 1:16 “They
claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable,
disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.” & John 8:44: “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s
I’m not saying this to beat you down– I’m trying to CHALLENGE you to change your LIFE & chose GOD over a piece of non-committed meat.A relationship can either be a distraction that leaves you stuck in a ditch– hurt, confused or frustrated– or it can be a bridge that PUSHES you towards Christ. If you’ve messed up in your relationships.. make a decision to start new! Don’t think.. oh, we messed up & God can’t use us and we won’t have the story that “we waited”– DO what GOD is instructing YOU to do.
In my own personal life, I knew if I had sex with my little boyfriends (when I was single)– I KNEW I wasn’t going to marry them. I remember thinking one time afterwards.. well, another one bits the dust. Aint it homie. That may sound weird to you, but I KNEW that I was going to wait with my one-day husband. Of course, I clearly played a role in the above but I KNEW that my one day spouse would have the standard of honoring my body until we got married. I KNEW that the Holy Spirit wasn’t pleased with my yo-yo Christianity life while I was at church on Sunday and staying the night with my little boo on Monday. Like, did I NOT hear what the preacher was saying??! HOW many days was I going to SIT up & IGNORE what I know to be true?!! WE know what to do in our relationships, we just won’t DO it. So today, I challenge YOU to make it RIGHT. I challenge you to take ya tail home at night and to STOP putting yourself in situations where you’re not honoring God. It’s time for us to stop going to God every 5 minutes and begging him for our purpose and direction when we have a pair of thighs up in our bed that didn’t pay the price for us. Step 1: Obey God Step 2: You’ll get the next instructions.
Oh yeah, and God just placed this on my heart before I posted this. I’m not saying this to make you feel you guilty but I gotta write it. WE all can see if you & the guy had sex. Your affection & chemistry & lusty spirit is CLEAR & it’s ALL on you. DO you not know that what you PUT in YOU illuminates OUTSIDE of you?!? Put in God’s word, study, prayer–we can see your heart.. filled with purity and a “glow” about you. If you’re sleeping with your guy.. we can see it in your eyes. So change. Not for people. But for YOU & GOD. You’re so valuable. So beautiful. Start living, thinking& acting like it.
Let’s do this right.
God loves you like crazy,
(hubby & I in San Juan, PR this past week)