“I’m Afraid, God.”

We are into day six of the Journal Challenge and honestly, this area has been heavy on my heart.

How raw is your quiet time with God? Meaning, are you straight honest with God?

“God, I am afraid that I will fail.”

“God, I am afraid that I won’t be enough for my husband and children.”

“God, I am afraid that I will be single my entire life.”

“God, I am afraid that I won’t have anywhere to live and I will be stuck on the streets.”

“God, I am afraid for my children’s health.”

“God, I am afraid that I am going to divorce like my parents.”

“God, I am afraid that I will be embarrassed if I step out on faith.”

I am AFRAID GOD!

Do you know that HE can work with those kind of prayers?? He can work with someone who says, “I don’t know what I am doing, I am trying to figure it all out and I feel like my life is a hot mess.”

So, we go into our quiet time, completely done up. We try to pray where it sounds super fancy and we feel like we have no connection to God.

Honey, God is looking at your HEART. What good is it to pray or repeat fancy prayers when you refuse to get to the root of what is going on in your HEART?

Lets not “over spiritualize prayer.” Let’s not try to impress Him with big words and whatever else. It seems like we may pray for period of time and then .. oops, we got a text message. Or, crap, I forgot to pay that bill.. our minds are EVERYWHERE. Then, you end up making breakfast, or on social media for the next hour and you think, well, I will just try to pray again tomorrow.

I love Deuteronomy 6:5 it says, “And you must love the Lord your God with all of your heart, all of your soul and all of your strength.”

Can we honestly say that we love God with all of our hearts?

I at times worry about things in ministry. I’m not even gonna sit up here and pretend like it’s all perfect over here because it’s not. As I worry and ponder a plan B that never happened in the first place (ya’ll know how we pre-worry.) I hear the Lord tell me to stop focusing on what I can see and focus on HIM. On HIM and HIM alone. NOTHING ELSE. If I love God with ALL of my heart than I trust HIM. That means that no matter the outcome of “whatever, I trust Him to work out these things for my good as I live for Him.” When we focus on our problems more than we focus on God, our problems become so much bigger.

So, when I run to my quiet time, I am honest with God. “I am stressed OUT JESUS! You literally have to help me. This and this is wrong. I know my weakness is perfected in your strength and I am so glad because I’m a hot mess right now.”

Prayer is simply communicating and how we connect with God. I have learned to simply enjoy God in my prayer time. I ask Him “How are you doing?” “I don’t understand how you know everyone and you still don’t just throw away the whole earth, how are you so patient?” And, HE actually responds! I don’t focus on my “special prayers” I focus on GOD through Jesus Christ. If I am seeking to connect with God and have a relationship with Him through the Holy Spirit, then it must be mutual.

Meaning, I don’t just talk: I listen too. At times, we run down our entire laundry list of all of these “things” to God and we then we get up from our prayer and go about our day.

My prayer time typically looks like this:

1. Turn on my worship music

2. At times, I may pour out my heart to God here before I get started. Casting my care onto Him because He cares for me. (1 Peter 5:7)

3. Pray in the Holy Spirit/English for about 20-min or however long I am led.

4. Then, I start to Journal. This is where I start it off with “Dear Daddy” and I LET IT RIP. Whatever is on my heart, whatever I am feeling, I pour it out to Him. This is also where I ask about Him. “Daddy, how is your day? Is your heart sad? What can I do to make things better?”

5. Then, I listen. I get quiet and I write down whatever the Lord is telling me to do.

6. Then, I read and study scriptures based on what I am going through or how I am led by God. I also write out scriptures long hang here on note cards.

7. I stay in this place for about 45-1 hour.

Now, there’s times where I will be spending 2 hours with God. I don’t track the time much because I work from home but I wanted you to see a quick example of my prayer life.

When we pray to God, come expecting, come weary, come sad, come depressed, come joyful, come thankful, come mad, come however.

I love James 4:8, it says “Come near to God and He will come near to you.”

Sounds to me like you have a part to play in coming near to Him. We come “near” to what we desire. What are you desiring? Porn? Sex outside of marriage? Discontentment and complaining? You’re coming near to something. If you feel far from God, someone moved and it wasn’t Him. Sin separates us from Him. Rebellion makes us feel far from God. Choosing our own way and ignoring His hardens our heart against God.

Above, I mentioned going to God joyful. At times, we may not run to His feet when things are going great but I want you to remember that He wants to celebrate the good times with you – not JUST the bad times. What kind of relationship is it if we only run to Jesus when things are hard? For example, have you ever been used by a friend? The ONLY time they come to you is when they “need or want something.” Although God is our FATHER, He also wants a relationship with us beyond our emergencies. He loves you. He wants intimacy with you. He wants to be close to you. He wants you to run to Him in every way possible.

Few Things:

7. Oh yeah, we started a BRAND NEW VLOGGING CHANNEL! Be sure to subscribe + check out the newest surprise in our sweet family! Subscribe HERE.

God loves you like crazy,

Love always,

Heather Lindsey

Baby Lindsey #3 is on the way in July 2018!!